Helping Your Baby Sleep

One of my most frequently used motto's as a parent at all stages of my children's lives is "this too shall pass."  Especially when it comes to my wakeful babies!  I think this has got to be one of the most challenging  parts of parenting babies.  No one ever told us about night time parenting!   Even babies who originally slept soundly as newborns will ultimately go  through times when they are up nursing or wakeful ten times a night.  What's an exhausted parent to do?
 
Here are some tips to help you thrive vs. barely survive this stage.
 
Believe it or not, it's normal.
Most babies don't sleep through the night.  That's right, I said DON'T!   I know it may seem like YOUR baby is out of the ordinary because the friend you do yoga with has a baby who seems to sleep through.  But, sleeping through is what is not normal.   I suggest you tune out the  people who talk about their babies sleeping through the night.  They tend to leave you feeling like a terrible parent because yours doesn't, right?   If you breastfeed your baby, realize they tend to sleep for shorter periods of time because breastmilk is easier on their digestive trac.  And so, they wake up more frequently because they are hungry.  And, whether your baby is breastfed or not, they are going through tremendous developmental leaps in the first year of life.  They tend to wake up because they are dreaming about "practicing" this next leap they are in the midst of (crawling, teething, talking, walking, etc).   Or, because they literally need to be nurtured in the midst of one of those developmental leaps.  Once your baby get's through the fast paced development of the first year or so, which is pretty well completed when they walk,  you will find they sleep sounder!  There is a light at the end of the tunnel!
 
Believe in yourself.
If co-sleeping works best for you and your child, because you are nursing, trust this.   If it could never work for you, then that's OK too.  All seven of my babies slept with Jay and I, and this worked best for me because I literally breastfed them in my sleep.  So, I wasn't as exhausted as I would have been on those nights that I was nursing 12 times a night.  I don't think I could have made it if I had to literally get out of bed and sit in a rocking chair to nurse them.  I will say, my oldest son, Kelly, shifted to the crib at 6 months old.  He is the only one who did.   He was giving us the cues that he would sleep better without us, and needed space.  Picking up on our babies cues is a skill we learn over time.  The sooner the better for everyone's sake.  Who was to know parents need to be sleuths too?   Kelly is now almost 18, and I'm still learning his cues!  :)

Try a sling.
I honestly have never used a sling because my husband was always around to hand off to when I felt at the end of my rope.   But many families I know can't live without them.   Once the baby is plopped in the sling they seem to drift almost immediately.   

Keep a consistent nap rhythm.
Babies don't need as many naps as they get older.  As newborns they are mostly napping, it seems.  Then it shifts to an early morning, late morning and afternoon nap.   Then an afternoon one only which hopefully lasts through the toddler stage.   Every baby is unique though, and it's wise to be tuned into their rhythm. As they grow, they need fewer hours of sleep during the day.  If your child is fighting sleep at night, it may be because she's still taking those marathon naps during the day that she no longer needs.  Also, with the afternoon nap only (with the older baby/toddler) it's best that they be wakened from their nap by 3:30 or so, in order to ensure getting to bed in a timely manner at night.   In essence, it's important that they DO nap, but, that the naps are well timed.   Skipping naps all together can lead to overtired, overstimulated and cranky baby who spends the last few hours of the day unbearably whining, and then gets that dreaded second wind and won't go to bed until 10pm. If your little one seems to be going to sleep too late at night, try this  method of  shortening her nap in the afternoon.   

Make sure your baby is cozy.
 Even as adults we have conditions that we require in order to have a good night's sleep.   Babies are the same way.  Some babies love to be swaddled, some need to be free.   Be sure pajamas are soft enough, the room is warm or cool enough, and their needs for dark (or light) and sound (or silence) are met. 
 
Take a break.
Make sure you take breaks when you can.  Take a nap when your baby naps; have a friend or babysitter come over and help out for a few hours so that you can get out of the house and interact with adults;  go to the gym when your husband gets home.  In essence, determine what brings  balance to your life whether it's a hot bath with a good book or a long walk in the woods .....and make sure you find a way to take that much needed break!  When we are sleep deprived we need that balance even more so that we don't have a melt down!